A Love Letter to UTSC

In the months and days prior to the end of my final semester, a lot of people have been asking me “So how does it feel?” “You must be so excited!” That kind of thing. And now that I’ve written my final exam, everyone is saying “Congratulations!” And many people have been surprised when my answer is “No, I’m not excited at all. I love school.” It’s not quite the response everybody expects.

I also believe in being grateful. And so, this is my love letter to you, UTSC. It is also my goodbye.

I loved being at school because I love all of you. You have made the past three years an absolute joy. I loved our shared experience. I loved discussing books and plays with you. I loved the often insane amount of reading I had to accomplish. I even loved essays (well most of them anyhow). I loved discussing and making theatre with you. I loved D&A. I loved the openness and acceptance that I have encountered just by speaking with all of you – I have had more intellectual debates about art, religion, and culture in the past three years than I have ever had in my life. I loved laughing with you at all the goofy shit we came up with. I loved expanding my mind by the various classes I took (though I will admit – some classes were significantly better than others).

This is why I loved hanging around in the greyspace and LLBT. I was happy to just be around all of you. I learned more from being around all of you then anything.

Prior to my time here, when I was largely unemployed and mostly sitting at home doing nothing, my brain had shut off. I didn’t realize it at the time. I was in a numb state, where this haze prevented me from being at all creative. UTSC opened my mind up to so many new ideas and people. It cleared the fog. I feel creative again, which is something I hadn’t felt in a long time. And I owe that to you.

To everyone who is currently seeing school as a giant pain in the ass: don’t. It is so incredibly valuable, and our brief time there is so precious. Sure, it is occasionally stressful and there’s occasionally drama outside of our dramatic studies, but really, it’s such a blessing. This has been exactly what I wanted out of a school experience, and I didn’t get that when I went to college.

Thank you. All of you. I look forward to hanging out with you and working with you in the future. (ii)

Heather

i) This has been cross-posted to my Facebook.
ii) Watch out for Part 2: A Call to Arms. It should be coming around within a day or so.

Boredom and Music Quizzes

Instructions: Put your favorite music player on shuffle (Party Shuffle on iTunes) and fill in the names of the songs in the order they show up. Or you could pick your own songs, but that’s not as much fun.

My friends see me as: Pinch Me (Barenaked Ladies)

My make-out song is: Do You Want To Know a Secret (The Beatles)

My day will be like: My Number One (Paramore)

I’ll have a good day if I can just hear: It Wasn't Me (Anouk)

Next time I’m in front of a crowd, I’ll say: Keep On Rollin' (Dana Fuchs)

My message to the world has always been: Sleep Together (Garbage)

Somewhere in my wedding vows, I will include: Over The Moon (Rent Broadway Soundtrack/ Idina Menzel)

My best friend is like: Hooker (P!nk)

My alter-ego is: Greatest Hits (Sublime)

Right now, I feel: Snowball in Hell (They Might Be Giants)

My innermost desire is: Pennsylvania 6-5000 (Brian Setzer Orchestra)

What makes me happy is: Rap Medley (Barenaked Ladies)

My birth was like: Clear (Jason Webley)

My theme song: You'll Miss Me (They Might Be Giants)

My deepest secret is: Generic Blues (Weird Al Yankovic)

If I reached the top of Mount Everest, what I would scream: Untitled (Neutral Milk Hotel)

My favorite thing to do is: Le Loup (Superbus)

The story of my life is: When You Wish Upon a Star (Pinocchio soundtrack)

At my funeral they’ll play: Canada Haunts Me (They Might Be Giants)

When I’m drunk I say: I'm Good I'm Gone (Lykke Li)

Behind my back, my friends think I’m: Boston and St. Johns (Great Big Sea)

If I got lost on a desert island, I would yell: Orange (Spiral Beach)

When I’m in the shower, I sing: C Moon (Wings)

My love of life was inspired by the song: Thank You (Jill Hennessy)

Highschool was like: Born Secular (Jenny Lewis and The Watson Twins)

My family is described by the song: I'm Ready (Allison Weiss)

How will you die? Rigadoon (Great Big Sea)

To cheer myself up I: On The Street Where You Live (My Fair Lady)

Eco-Nomy

I feel stiff in this ecosystem.
Like a weed in the grass, unwanted.
I've never been one with the stale grey walls,
the 5x5 spacing
and the business casual embellishments.
The moment I go bushwacking,
I get a small, round fist
exploding from my stomach.
My instinct for colour,
family,
life,
tell me to turn and run.

What Happens When I Take Part in Psych Experiments

I write poetry! Yay!


I become increasingly aware of the expansiveness of the universe
Aware of how far my feet are from the ground
As if the hardwood underneath me was insufficient, a false reality
That could vanish instantaneously, causing my body to shatter
With shards of my soul floating into the atmosphere
Twinkling, fake stars in an endless sky

A Poem and An Apology.

I will get back to this. Little blog, I have not forsaken ye. I just have school to worry about for a little bit longer.

Anywho, here is a poem to tie you over.

I've never been good with stilettos.

Maybe its just my terrible balance,

but I've always preferred to keep my feet

firmly planted on the ground.

That way I can stand tall

without risk of toppling over.

2011

2010 shall end in a few days. And so, it is time for the standard "New Years Resolution" post. I figured it would be slightly more interesting than the standard "Best of 2010" lists (although I will throw this out there: the best film of 2010 was Scott Pilgrim vs The World, hands down).

Although, I don't know how much of this will be resolution. Rather, it is more like a list of things I would like to happen, or goals I would like to work towards. This is going to be a year of change, as I will be finished university as of April, and once again thrust into the working world.

The first goal can be best summed up with the words "grow up". If you know me in "the real world" I have had various conversations with people about how I do not feel like a "grown up". This is something that continually comes up in my list of insecurities. I often have minor freak outs regarding this.

I am 26 years old. I live in the same house, same room even, that I have lived in since I was 2. I am effectively unemployed, and I still go to school.

I have struggled with this. At times, I feel a distinct lack of progress in my life. I look at peoples' Facebook pages, and they are married, have houses, have fantastic jobs, have children, at my age or younger. It's not so much that I want those particular things right this second, but their lives have changed since last we saw each other. I feel stuck.

On the other hand, I try and remind myself how blessed I am. I have a wonderful family, including a mother who allows me to live at home, rent free, while I figure my life out. She's awesome. I can stay here as long as I want, and save money for when I can actually leave the nest.

I have an awesome boyfriend, with whom I can make a future with. He's also pretty awesome. I have fantastic, lifelong friendships with an amazing group of people.

But back to the resolution - grow up. I guess that goal is to make any sort of progress. This will most likely involve getting a job (which would be FANTASTIC), save any amount of money, or even just gathering materials for when I move out (I've talked with Mom about how I'm hoping to focus on buying things I can use, like vacuums or plates, rather than more books and DVDs and stuff). Any sort of progress will be super.

That's the big goal, I suppose. I have a few others, some of which are better than others. For instance, I want to be more charitable from now on (in thinking about this, it might contradict my saving money goal - hmm) as I feel that I don't really contribute anything terribly beneficial to society, other than the extremely lazy "follow this person on twitter and they'll donate money to charity" type things (speaking of which, follow @abolishcancer and they'll donate $1 to a variety of cancer charities).

This would be the "better" goal, as my other goal is to finish a lot of the video games I have half-played in my library. And upgrade to Windows 7. Some goals are sillier than others.

These are my plans for 2011. How about you?

Merry Christmas!

Understandably, life has gotten a tad bit busy, around the holidays. But I haven't forgotten you, my darling blog readers! I'm working on a Dungeons and Dragons related post, which is turning out to be a lot of work. So in the mean time, here is some Christmas-related awesomeness:

Via ViralVideosNR1